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308 戳他一下 [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, 菲比，来 Rachel is serving brownies.] 谁要吃我的特制布朗尼? Rachel: Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade 我要一块 brownies? 算了，不要了 Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.) 不是，是我牙痛 (Phoebe takes a bite and spits it out and screams.) 好，我要一块 Chandler: Okay, I'm not gonna have one. 你要找牙医吗? Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.) 我认识一个好医生 Phoebe: No, no, it's just my tooth. 谢了，我也认识一个。 Chandler: All right I'll have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,) 只是我不能见他 Ross: So what's a matter, you need a dentist? I've got a good one. 这就是隐形牙医的问题 Phoebe: No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I can't see him. 你为什么不能去找他? Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists. 因为我每次去看牙医， Ross: Why? Why can't you go to him? 就会有人死 Phoebe: Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies. 真诡异，我每次去看牙医 Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, 都会偷看医生的胸口 I look down the hygienist's blouse. …什么? Rachel: Phoebe, what? Umm...what?! 第一次是玛丽阿姨 Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was 然后是我的邮差约翰 umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend 'Albino Bob'. 然后是我的牛仔朋友 Rachel: And all these people actually died? 艾拜诺巴伯 Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! That's why I take such good 这些人真的都死了? care of my teeth now, y'know, it's not about oral hygiene, I floss 对，当我坐在诊疗椅上时 to save lives! 所以我都自己保健牙齿， Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didn't kill anybody, these people just 不是为了口腔卫生 happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's, it's, it's just 我用牙线是为了救人 ah, a coincidence. 拜托，你没有杀人 Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You can't, their dead. 只是这些人死的时候， Opening Credits 你刚好去看牙医 [Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.] 这只是巧合 Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel 你去告诉他们。 comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get 啊，不行，他们死了 a napkin too? “中央公园” Gunther: Oh, like you don't already have everything. 阿甘，谢了 Phoebe: (trying to bite into an apple) Ow! Ow! (drops the apple in 可以给一张纸巾吗? disgust.) 你还不够称心如意吗? Rachel: Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just 你痛得很厉害，去看牙医吧 go. 好，但如果你是下一名受害者 Phoebe: All right, fine, fine, but if you're my next victim, don't 别化身成厉鬼跑回来 come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set. 把我吸进电视里 Rachel: I promise. 保证不会 Phoebe: Although, don't feel like you can't visit. 但还是欢迎你来找我 Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here? 钱德在吗? Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no 不在 he's not. 乔伊看到珍妮丝亲她的前夫 308 The One With The Giant Poking Device Monica: You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband. 什么? Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how 你要怎么办?要怎么告诉钱德? are you going to tell Chandler? 我一直在想这件事。 Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would 最好的办法就是… be, to not. 不要说 Rachel: Joey, you can't keep this to yourself, if you know about this, 乔伊，既然你知道了 you have to tell him. 就得告诉他 Joey: It'll kill him. I mean it'll, it'll just kill him. 那他就完了，真的完了 Phoebe: Well, you could wait 'til I go to the dentist, maybe I'll kill 等我去看牙医吧， him. 或许我会让他完了 [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, All are there except for Chandler.] 丑裸男在睡吊床。 Joey: (looking out the window) Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new 好像猪肉工厂喔 hammock. It's like a Play-Doo Fat Factory. 我要去看牙医了， Phoebe: Well, I'm going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on 听我说 the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or 小心会让你们掉进去的东西 that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, 或是会掉下来的东西 I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts 或是… to cry and runs out) 总之要小心 Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, 我还想要… some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display. 我只想告诉你们… Joey: What did they do? 我有一个麻烦。 Ross: Well, they painted over the word 'Sapien' for one thing, then 我得去忙上几个小时 they rearranged the figures, let's just leave it at that. 有一些小孩大闹智人展览 Monica: So, do you want me to watch Ben for you? (与同性恋同字) Ross: Yes, that's what I was going to ask, thank you. 怎么个闹法? Rachel: Whoa! Wait! Hello! What about me? 他们涂改了标题 Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths 然后又把人偶重新排列。 'Don't worry, I'll be here the whole time.' to Ross.) Yes! That'd be 这个就不说了 great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her 要我帮你照顾班吗? life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths 'Yeah!' and holds up her thumb.) 我正要拜托你，谢谢 Joey: Hey-hey, Ross? 等一下，让我来如何? Ross: Yeah. 你!你想照顾班? Joey: I've got a science question. 太好了！我拜托摩妮卡是因为… Ross: Hmm? 她的生活很空虚 Joey: If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact 'Homo-sapien', is that why 我有个科学问题 there extinct? 如果智人真的是“同志”人 Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people. 所以才会绝种吗? Joey: Hey-hey, I'm not judging. 乔伊，智人就是人 [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are babysitting Ben.] 我没有批评的意思 Rachel: (holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) 小班，你看，汤匙 Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think he's bored. 汤匙 Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna 我看他觉得很无聊 show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) We're gonna do something fun. Okay. 来，要不要玩坐飞机? (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves 要不要玩给瑞秋看? into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back 过来 into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Ben's head on that 你想玩好玩的?好 wooden beam across the ceiling.) 你最勇敢了，最最勇敢了 [cut to later] 没事了 Monica: (to Ben) Who's so brave, you're so brave, yes you are, you're so brave. Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, he's fine, he's fine, let's just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See that's a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?! Monica: He's not gonna say anything, because we're not gonna tell him. Rachel: We're not?! Monica: No we're not. Rachel: All right, I like that. Monica: Okay. Rachel: So we're okay, we're okay, we're okay, (starts to exam Ben) aren't we? No, we're not okay, we're not okay, there's a bump, there's a bump. Monica: Oh my God! Well push it in! Push it in! Rachel: I cannot push it in! Monica: Okay, we're gonna need a distraction. Rachel: Okay, okay, okay. Monica: I got it! Rachel: Okay. Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!! Rachel: Or. We could put a hat on his head. Monica: A hat! Yes! We need a hat. Rachel: We need a hat.. Monica: Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat? Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, I'll get 'Rainy Day Bear'!! (runs to get him) Monica: Because he'll know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear that's dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, you're a genius! Rachel: Oh God, oh God, it's sowed on though. Monica: Give it. Give it. Rachel: Okay. (Monica takes the bear, grabs his hat, and rips off his head.) Monica and Rachel: Oh!! Rachel: Oh, it's just like a bloodbath in here today. [Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.] Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice? Joey: I'd really prefer a mountain bike. Chandler: Janice's birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me. Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something speacial, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum. Chandler: That's a good idea, 'Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday'. I would like to get her something serious. Joey: Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you 他没事，把他放下 宝贝，过来，你好乖 你怎么可以撞到他? 罗斯很信任我，他会怎么说? 不会的，我们不会告诉他 不会吗？不会 这样好 你没事，你没事对吧? 不，你有事，这里肿起来了 什么肿起来? 天哪，把它压下去 我不能把它压下去 好，我们得分散注意力。 好 就是这样，好 我知道了 罗斯一走进来 你就拉他进房间使出浑身解数 让他快活 或者…… 我们也可以帮他戴帽子 帽子!没错，我们需要帽子。 要去哪里找小帽子? 我去拿雨天小熊 因为他有办法? 天哪，你真是天才 好像缝死了 拿来……好 今天这里真是血腥啊 等一下… 你觉得这串珍珠漂亮吗? 我比较喜欢登山车 珍妮丝的生日快到了。 我想送她特别的礼物 陪我进去 慢着 你想来点特别的? 送花嘛 送糖，送口香糖。 女生都喜欢口香糖 好主意，“亲爱的珍妮丝 祝你生日快乐得冒泡” 我想送一份严肃的礼物 你要严肃的东西 知道吗? 你应该送… 灌肠剂 那个严肃得要命 我要进去 你以后不要送东西给我