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终用稿(7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本三顾茅庐)
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Three visits to the cottage三顾茅庐
Aside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors（美['d??n?t?] n. 看门人；守卫） in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs.
Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.
SCENE 1: Liubei's home
Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei
Guanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic
life end? It's so terrible!
Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb
says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper（看门人）, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?
Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his
husband’s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.
Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse
Liubei: Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me
and go to the mountain for dunning! （收拾家伙 挽袖子）
Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.
SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s house
Actors: ZhuGeliang Zhu’s Wife
ZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But
I feel so sad recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you know? I’ve never heart about that. And she asked me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. （拿起手里的试卷给大家亮亮） It’s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?
Wife: Darling!
ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded（啰
嗦的） that I can never bear her. （装作认真状）
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Wife： My dear, how about your study?
ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze[d??z](打瞌睡).
I’m dizzy.
Wife： Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet-6 to get
your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Shanghai.(cry)
ZhuGeliang：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your
husband and don’t need to learn. （扔书）
Wife： Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!
ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!
Wife： Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?
ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t. （不会 抓耳挠腮）
Wife： You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really
wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,
诸葛亮——崩溃了 （捂耳朵 忙劝）
ZhuGeliang：Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! 老婆——（马上变脸）
I ‘m going to study hard at once.
Wife: 给书童一个手势
Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?
Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to
welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England.
Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of
ZhuGeliang’s house.
SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang’s house
Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei Keeper
Zhangfei: Let me knock the door! Open! Open!!! （气愤 敲门 咚 咚 咚） Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt?
(Open the door)
Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife. Keeper: Zhu said he is not in. Liubei: En????
Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the
exam of CET-6, and he may not be come back this month.
Liubei: OK! We will wait for him here!
Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will be come back, so, let’s go home!
Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply
autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn’t see Zhu Geliang as well. Two month passed, the cold winter is
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coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is out.
SCENE 4: ZhuGeliang’s Home
Actors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei Guanyu
ZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha
ha ………
Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We can’t
let him in.
ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don’t worry. I can make
liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue
Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time! （此时刘备用枪指着诸葛
亮头 幻灯片放无间道）
Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?
Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me 500yuan, when you repay it for me? I
have starved for several days. （放乞丐的幻灯片）
ZhuGeliang: I owe you 500yuan? who can testify? Please give
me a chance, I want to be an honest man.
Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.
Zhu: Please look(扇子指向幻灯片 幻灯片放西农地图), although having
ambition , you are just a guarder. We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign the whole country.
Liubei: （若有所思） I’m so surprised! I don’t know you are so smart.
Zhu Geliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your
money?
Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new
country together with us?
ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can’t. Because my wife forces me
to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.
Liu: （面露难色）En…..
Zhangfei: （拉刘备到身边耳语到）(Pull)
Brother, come here.
Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can’t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ? （幻灯片武状元苏乞儿作弊呢段）
Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.
（假答案图片）
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