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But we must also recognize that both women and men want to have time, when they are young, to enjoy the many opportunities for personal expression and fulfillment that modern, affluent societies are able to provide.

从社会的角度看，鼓励人们相对晚婚的最重要的上网理由是，那是他们更成熟，更明白想从自己另一半哪里得到什么，有更好的工作和事业基础，而且男性性生活趋于平稳。结婚年龄已经被证明是能够预测最终是否离婚的唯一的最重要的因素。离婚率最高的群体是那些十几岁就结婚的年轻人。但是我们也必须承认男性和女性都希望在年轻的时候有时间享有现在富有社会所提供的表达自我，实现自我的诸多机会。

We should anticipate that many of these years of young adulthood will be spent in nonmarital cohabitation, an arrangement that often makes more sense than the alternatives to it, especially living along or continuing to live with one‘s family of origin. I am not implying, much less advocating, sexual promiscuity here, but rather serious, caring relationships which may involve cohabitation.

我们应该预料到成年初期的不少年头将会在非婚同居中度过。比起其他选择。特备是独居胡哟这继续生活在原来家里的，这是一个更加合乎常理的生活安排。我这里不是在暗示，更不是在倡导滥交，而是指严肃，相互关爱的，可能涉及同居的恋爱关

系。

(4)From the perspective of promoting eventual family life, however, the downside to late age of marriage is that people live for about a decade or more in a nonfamily, ―singles‖ environment which reinforces their personal drive for expressive individualism and conceivably reduces their impulse toward carrying out eventual family obligations, thus making the transition to marriage and childrearing more difficult. To help overcome the anti-family impact of these years, young unmarried adults should be encouraged to save a substantial portion of their income for a ―family fund‖ with an eye toward offsetting the temporary loss of the wife‘s income after marriage and childbirth.

然而，从促进生活家庭的角度来看，结婚年龄大的缺点在于人们在10年或者更长的时间里生活在没有家庭的单身汉环境中，这段经历会强化他们追求表现型个人主义倾向。社会减少他们履行最终家庭义务的愿望。从而使向婚姻和抚育小孩的国度更加困难。为了克服这些年形成的不利于家庭生活的影响，应当鼓励年轻的未婚青年人将收入的大部分存起来作为家庭基金，一边抵消在结婚和生育之后妻子暂时失去收入的损失。

(5)Once children are born, wives should be encouraged to leave

the labor market and become substantially full-time mothers for a period of at least a year to eighteen months per child. The reason for this is that mother-reared infants appear to have distinct advantages over those reared apart from their mothers. It is desirable for children to have full-time parenting up to at least age three, but after eighteen months—partly because children by then are more verbal—it is appropriate for fathers to become the primary caretakers, and some men may wish to avail themselves of the opportunity. At age three, there is no evidence that children in quality group care suffer any disadvantages (in fact, for most children there are significant advantages). Once children reach that age, therefore, the average mother could resume working part-time until the children are at least of school age, and preferably in their early to middle teen years, at which point she could resume work full-time. Alternatively, when the children reach the age of three the father could stay home part-time, and the mother could resume work full-time.

小孩出生以后，应该鼓励妻子离开劳动力市场，为每个孩子切实的做到至少到18个月的全职母亲。这样做的原因是母亲哺育的婴儿似乎比离开母亲抚养的婴儿有明显的优势，至少在3岁之前儿童最好有母亲全职照顾，但是18个月以后----部分原因在于那是儿童语言表达能力更强-----可以让父亲承担主要照料工

作，而且有的男人也希望拥有这个机会，在3岁得时候，没有证据显示接收优良集体照看的儿童有什么不利之处。因此，一旦儿童达到那个年纪，一般母亲可以重新开始做兼职工作，一直到小孩至少达到入小学年龄。最好是13,14岁到15,16,17左右的时候。那时候母亲可以重新开始做全职工作。或者正在小孩3岁的时候，父亲可以做兼职工作，并在家照料孩子。而母亲可以重新开始做全职工作。

For women, this proposal is essentially the strategy known as ―sequencing‖. The main difficulty with it, as sociologist Phyllis Moen has noted,‖ is that child-nurturing years are also the career-nurturing years. What is lost in either case cannot be ?made up‘ at a later time.‖ Yet I would argue that it is possible to ―make up‖ for career loss, but impossible to make up for child-nurturing loss. To make it economically more possible for a family with young children to live on a single income, we should institute (in addition to the ―family fund‖) what virtually every other industrialized society already has in place—parental leave and child allowance programs. And, to help compensate women for any job or career setbacks due to their time out of the labor force, we should consider the development of ―veterans benefits‖ type programs that provide mothers with financial subsidies and job priorities when they return

to the paid work force. In general, women must be made to feel that caring for young children is important work, respected by the working community.

对女性来说，这个提议实质上就是被称为“人生排‖的策略。正如社会学家菲利斯.莫恩提到的，他的主要困难”在于照料孩子的时光也正是建立事业的年纪。两者损失都无法再以后弥补。然而我想说在事业上的损失都能够弥补的。而养孩子的损失却是无法弥补的。为了使有幼孩子的家庭能够只靠一份收入生活，我们应该设立—几乎所有工业化国家早就已经有的---育儿假以及儿童补贴项目。另外，为了帮助补偿女性由于一段时间不在职场而遇到的工作或者事业挫折，我们应该考虑类似“退伍军人补贴金的方法”，使他们重新就业时给予母亲以经济补贴和工作优先权。总之，必须让女性感到照料小孩是一项重要的工作，是受到就业群体尊重的。

(6)According to this proposal, the mother and not the father ordinarily would be the primary caretaker of infants. This is because of fundamental biological differences between the sexes that assume great importance in childrearing, as discussed above. The father should be an active supporter of the mother-child bond during this period, however, as well as auxiliary homemaker and care provider. Fathers should expect to spend far more time in domestic pursuits