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读书破万卷 下笔如有神

我们在婚姻中最想得到的是什么？爱与被爱，幸福与安全，成长与发现。爱的关系是一个花园，我们在其中种植，培育和收获最珍贵的作物——我们自己，我们的配偶在这个花园里得到同样肥沃的土壤可以蓬勃发展。 只有当我们的配偶也心愿得偿时，我们才可能心愿得偿。例如，以为妇女可能想去听交响乐而她的丈夫则痛恨交响乐。但是，花几个小时听他不喜欢的音乐，他可以给自己的伴侣带来快乐。为得到这份快乐所付出的的代价并不高对吧？What is it we want most from a marriage? To love and be loved. To be happy and secure. To grow, to discover. A love relationship is the garden in which we plant, cultivate and harvest the most precious of crops, our own self, and in which our spouse is provided the same rich soil in which to bloom. We cannot obtain what we want unless our partner also gets what he or she wants. A woman may, for instance, want to go to the symphony. Her husband might hate symphonies. But by spending a few hours listening to music he does not care for, he can bring joy to his partner. That is a pretty cheap price to pay for joy ,is not it?

读书破万卷 下笔如有神

学习艺术的过程可以非常容易的分成两部分：一、掌握理论；而、精于实践。如果我需要学习医学，我必须首先了解人体和各种疾病。但即使我掌握所有这些理论知识，也绝不表明我就能熟练操作了。只有当经过大量实践，知道最后我的理论知识和实践结果融合在一起，形成直觉了，我才能称得上这门艺术的专家。直觉是艺术掌握的精华所在。但是除了学习理论知识和进行实践外，想在艺术领域成为一名真正的行家里手还必须掌握第三种因素，及对艺术的追求必须是其最终所关怀的；世上再无比这门艺术更重要的事。音乐，医药，木工手艺都是这样，爱情也是如此。我们这个社会中的人们，尽管显然已经失败却仍很少去学习爱的艺术，其原因也许就在于此：虽然内心深处都渴望爱，却认为其他任何事都比爱更重要，如成功、名望、财富、权利；我们几乎把所有的精力都消耗在对这些目标的追逐上，而几乎不花费任何精力来学习这种爱的艺术。The process of learning an art can be divided conveniently into two parts: one, the mastery of the theory; the other, the mastery of the practice. If I want to learn the art of medicine, I must first know the facts about the human body, about various diseases. When I have all this theoretical knowledge, I am by no means competent in the art of medicine. I shall become a master in this art only after a great deal of practice, until eventually the results of my theoretical knowledge and the results of my practice are blended into one——my intuition, the essence of the mastery of any art. But aside from learning the theory and practice, there is a third factor necessary to becoming a master in any art——the mastery of the art must be a matter of ultimate concern; there must be nothing else in the world more important than the art. This holds true for music, for medicine, for carpentry——and for love. And, maybe, here lies the answer to the question of why people in our country try so rarely to learn this art, in spite of their obvious failures: in spite of the deep-seated craving for love, almost everything else is considered to be more important than love: success, prestige,money,power——almost all our energy is used for the learning of how to achieve these aims, and almost none to learn the art of loving.