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and work through them with my daughter far into the night, doing whatever it took to get her the A. I would leave those tasks for a tutor to administer.

自负的中国母亲与西方母亲之间的差异，我觉得，在于我很羞愧自己并未对女儿取得的成绩感到自豪，而是任由自己的怒气发泄。诚然（对此我也很惭愧），我之后也并没有去找数百套的测验题，然后与女儿一起做题到深夜，千方百计让她拿到 A。我会把那些工作留给家教来做。

I am, actually, grateful to the author, and for the insights she gave me. Reading her essay definitely put some Chinese iron into my Western spine, and though I eventually apologized to my daughter for failing to acknowledge, right off the bat, all those tough classes last semester in which she had done phenomenally well, and for expressing my disappointment at the others too vigorously, I have also vowed that she will clamp down on those three subjects in which she is \

其实，我很感谢作者，感谢她让我增长了见识。读她的文章确实让我这西方的头脑融入了一些中国元素，尽管我最终向女儿道了歉，因为我没有一开始就认可上学期她在那些很难的课程上所取得的异常优秀的成绩，并对其他课程表示了过于强烈的失望，但我也立誓要帮她攻克成绩不够好的三门课。对此她父亲和我看法是一致的。

But Chinese methods, I think, do still need some scrutiny. My daughter Rosie is mildly dyslexic, a learning difficulty that means she automatically reads words backward. By the time the psychiatrist diagnosed her, in second grade, she was lagging far behind her classmates. For years I forced her to spell words in the bathtub with foam letters, to do worksheets, to subdivide words into sounds and take practice tests. My criticism and forced rehearsing was redundant, it turns out - inside, she was all ready to punish herself, and I was only prolonging her misery and shattering her confidence. Eventually, and totally out of character, she even stopped loving school. She lost her sparkle. She started to suffer from constant stomachaches and broke down in tears almost every day. At last we heard about a reading program where students spent four hours every day in a small room under a supervisor with a specialization in dyslexia, drilling in letters and sight words. It sounded awful, but Rosie insisted on it. She loved books and stories. She wanted to read.

但中国的方法，我认为，确实仍然需要推敲。我女儿罗西有轻度阅读障碍，她会不由自主地逆读，这是她读二年级时精神科医生诊断出来的，那时她已经远远落后于她的同学。多年来，我强迫她在浴缸里用泡沫塑料字母拼写单词，做活页练习，把单词细分为读音，做各种练习测试。我批评她以及强迫她不断练习是多余的，原来——在她内心，她早已准备好惩罚自己，我只不过是在延长她的痛苦，粉碎她的信心。最后，她甚至不再爱上学了，这与她的性格全不相符。她失去了活力，开始不断地肚子难受，几乎每天都会流泪痛哭。后来，我们听说有一个阅读课程，学生在专攻阅读困难的专家的引导下，每天在小房间里花四个小时进行字母和常见单词练习。这听起来很可怕，但罗西执意要去。她喜欢书籍和小说，她想要阅读。

Every day when we picked her up, her face would be red with tears, her eyes hollow and exhausted. Every day we asked her if she wanted to quit. Neither her father nor I wanted to make a unilateral decision when she was the one who suffered, so we asked her. But every day she returned to the trenches, her little shoulders bent under the weight of her struggle. Rosie has a process she follows when she's scared - \know where she learned it. Maybe from one of those television shows I shouldn't let her watch. 精品文档

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每天我们去接她时，她的脸总是红红的，满是泪水，两眼无神，疲惫不堪。我们每天都问她，要不要退出。无论是她父亲还是我都不想单方面替她作出决定，因为她才是遭受痛苦的人，所以我们问她的意见。而每天，她都回到课程训练现场，挣扎于重压之下，她的小肩膀都弯了。每当害怕的时候，罗西有一套自己的办法——她会对自己轻声说“要战胜恐惧”。我不知道她是从哪里学来的，也许是某个我不该让她看的电视节目。

At the end of a grim and brutal month, Rosie learned to read. Not because we sat like watchdogs and forced her to drill and practice and repeat, not because we dragged her kicking and screaming, or denied her food, or kept her from using the bathroom, but because she forced herself. Because of this, she emerged with a conception of herself as a powerful, versatile person.

在一个月严厉苛刻的学习结束时，罗西掌握了阅读。这不是因为我们像看守似地盯着她，强迫她练习、实践和重复，也不是因为我们拽着她又踢又叫，或者不给她饭吃，不让她上厕所，而是因为她自己逼着自己学。正因为如此，她开始意识到自己是一个意志坚强、多才多艺的人。

I have a feeling when Chinese children are underdeveloped or suffer from learning disabilities like Rosie's, their parents channel their admirable passion into finding a solution that works. They are just as dogged and determined, but in an entirely different way. In some scenarios roaring like a tiger turns children into pianists who debut at Carnegie Hall, but in others it only limits, constricts, and reins them in. Positive enthusiasm gives some the excuse to fail and others the chance to succeed. Wherever we reside on our big green, blue planet, Chinese mothers and I both understand that our job as mothers is to be the type of tigress that each of our different children needs.

我觉得中国孩子如果发育存在问题或者像罗西这样有学习障碍时，他们的父母会投入令人钦佩的热情去寻找可行的解决方案。他们同样是不屈不挠，无比坚定，只不过用的是完全不同的方式。某些情形下，咆哮如虎能让孩子成为在卡内基音乐厅首演的钢琴家，但其他情况下这只会限制、压迫、束缚他们。热切的关注会成为一些孩子失败的原因，也会给其他孩子成功的机会。这碧绿而又蔚蓝的广袤星球上，无论我们居于何处，中国母亲和我都明白，我们作为母亲的职责是成为每个孩子各自所需要的母老虎类型。

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