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三、Help Yourself through the Hard Times

1、Some years ago I had what most would call the American Dream: a thriving construction business, a comfortable home, two new cars and a sailboat. Moreover, I was happpily married. I had it all.几年前,我拥有大多数人称之为美国梦想的东西:一份蒸蒸日上的建筑生意,一个舒适的家,两辆新车和一艘帆船,此外,我婚姻幸福。我拥有这一切。

2、Then the stock market crashed, and suddenly no one was looking at the houses I’d built.Months of murderous interest payment gobbled up my savings. I couldn’t make ends meet and lay awake nights in a cold sweat. Just when I though things couldn’t get worse, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce.接着,股市垮了,突然间再没人看我修的那些房子。连续几个月支付要命的利息,耗尽了我的积蓄。我入不敷出,经常彻夜无眠,一身冷汗。就在我认为事情不可能变得更糟的时候,我太太宣布她想离婚。

3、With no idea what to do next, I resolved literally to “sail off into the sunset,” following the coastline from Connecticut to Florida. But somewhere off New Jersey I turned due east, straight out to sea. Hours later, I climbed up on the stern rail and watched the dark Atlantic slip beneath the hull. How easy it would be to let the water take me, I thought.无所适从的我决心真正驾船“向夕阳行

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驶”,沿着海岸线从康涅狄格州驶向佛罗里达州。但是在离新泽西巷的地方,我转向正东方,直接驶往大海。几小时后,我爬上船尾的栏杆,注视着从船体下面滑过的黑沉沉的大西洋海水。我想让海水淹死是多么容易的一件事。

4、Suddenly the boat plummeted between two swells, knocking me off balance. I grabbed the rail, my feet dragging in icy brine, and just managed to haul myself back on board. Shaken, I thought, what’s happening to me? Idon’t want to die.From that moment, I knew I had to see things through. My old life was gone. Somehow I’d have to build a new one.突然,帆船笔直地落在两个巨浪之间,使我失去了平衡。我手抓住 栏杆,脚浸在冰冷的海水里,勉强把自己拉回船上。震惊之余,我想,我这是怎么了?我不想死。从那一刻起,我知道我必须看穿万物。我从前的生活一去不复返了,必须得想办法自己重建新的生活。

5、Everyone, at some point, will suffer a loss-the loss of loved ones. Good health, a job. “It’s your desert experience’-a time of feeling barren of options, even hope,” explains Patrick Ddl Zoppo, a psychologist and bereavement specialist with the Archdiocese of New York. “The important thing is not to allow yourself to be stranded in the desert.”每个人,在某个时刻,都将遭受损失—失去挚爱的人、健康或是工作。“这是你经历中的荒漠---一段感到毫无出路,甚至毫无希望的时期”,帕垂克·戴尔·左珀解释说。他是一名心

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理学家,纽约大主教管区的丧亲之痛专家,“重要的是不要让你自己陷入荒漠之中无法自拔”。

6、Let Yourself Grieve. Counelors agree that a period of grieving is critical. “There’s no shame in this,” says Del Zoppo. “Tears aren’t a sign that you’re simply feeling sorry for yourself but are expression of sadness or emotion that must find an outlet.”让自己悲痛。顾问们一致认为,一段时间的悲痛是至关重要的。“不必为此感到羞愧”,戴尔·左珀说,“眼泪并不意味着你仅仅自我垂怜,而是表达必须发泄的忧伤或情感”。

7、And it doesn’t matter if the grieving takes a while to surface, as long as it finally finds expression. Consider the case of Donna Kelb of Syracuse, N.Y. One spring day her 16-year-old son, Cliff, Jr. and 15-year-old son, Jimmy, were sanding their boat, preparing it for the season. Suddenly Donna heard a scream. Rushing outside, she found her two sons lying on the ground near the boat.如果悲痛需要一段时间才能表现出来,也没有什么关系,只要它能最终找到表现的方式。看看纽约锡拉库扎港的唐娜·克博的例子。在一个春光明媚的日子里,她16岁的儿子小克立夫和他15岁的弟弟吉米正在给他们的船装沙,为渔季做准备。突然,唐娜听到一声尖叫。她冲到外面,发现两个儿子倒在船旁边的地面上。

8、Jimmy had gone into the water and returned dripping wet. When he picked up the sander, he was electrocuted. Cliff, knocked

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